    EVANESSENCE

    wake me up inside,
    bid my blood to run,
    before i come undone,
    save me from the nothing i've become,
    breathe into me,
    and make me real,
    bring me to life.

    prolouge

    what would you do if you could relive what you missed?

    chapter one

    "accursed youkai of the dark plain, bow to your master! curse me as you die, and take my name to hell with you."

    "that'll do for today pete," i had to cut the the poor man off before he started howling... he got way too far into character, "thanks again, my
    novel will definitely benefit from your help."

    pete was a local veteran, a somewhat shabbily dressed wolf, who still wore the red beret of his former station. at his age "he" benefitted a lot from "my" help.
    it let him do the one thing he'd wanted to do since he was a cub, acting. and gave me something to do to keep from losing my mind. that and the fact that i paid him
    twenty dollars per session to flesh out my work... may have had something to do with it.

    ----

    who am i?

    i am whittford k. foxx, an enigmatic author.

    i am ko-yami, a child faced warrior without a family or past.

    i am terciel, a veteran of a thousand millenia war called the tribulation.

    i am a shadowed chess player, manipulating the people around me to produce the desired checkmate.

    i am hated, i am unloved, i am scorned, i am nonexistant, i am grateful to be alive...

    i can hardly blame them for the way they feel, after all i was the one who sent their lives spiraling downward. but even the woman who i had protected for years turned her
    back on me, after seeing what i had become i can relate to her disgust.

    i often wish for a reprieve from my life, someplace where i wasn't hated, or someone's weekly paycheck. but by this point i've dismissed it as a dream, and only a dream

    ----

    my alarm clock bleeped in that staccotic tone that it always did and i roused myself, wondering why yesterday seemed to have blurred. i stumbled to the bathroom just
    as i threw up. since i don't drink very often i knew it wasn't a hangover, but still after looking in the mirror it was hard to tell.

    my white pelt and tail were drenched in sweat, and my long hair hung in that position that usually made me want a haircut. my left arm, wrapped as always in leather, was completely immobile and my eyes, though always
    red pupiled, were bloodshot. i looked at the face before me and asked it: "mmeh wre greef nill corwe?" ^think the sunglasses will cover it?^(that just woken up mumblingness)
    with that nightmare staring back at me, i "almost" expected an answer.

    what i didn't expect was the background of nightmarish faces, representing the vast majority, suddenly surrounding my own

    perhaps i should explain. the vast majority is the collective group of all the dead and the combined will of all the living as a single multi-minded organism. i had often used them to relay
    messages to the sovereign nine and the triads, as well as convincing certain people to do certain things.

    now however their mission was of a different origin,

    "tercccciel, see and become..."
    "knooooooow your place halfbreed."
    "deeeeeeath to them."
    "perissssssh."

    their cacophonous voices gradually grew, and reached their climax in a single word shouted by the very core of the vast majority

    "evanessence!"

    the last thing i remember seeing was my own eyes, the red pupils having bled into the irises...

    (side note: from here on out the story will be narrated in third person third person. =^_^=)

    chapter two

    a young white fox laid on the bed, sleeping deeply under the watchful eye of an older bespectacled vixen.
    his long white hair spread accross the queen sized bed in a cute display, and he squirmed and mumbled softly in his sleep.

    the elder fox reached out and stroked his cheek, half-smiling, she was dressed in a tight fitting pair of jeans that showed off her curvy body and a loose, long sleeved black shirt.

    as she removed her paw, the kit began to stir.

    if silk were a voice it would have been the vixen's, "good evening ko-yami."

    the kit sat bolt upright, and suddenly grabbed his left arm, whimpering.

    "are you alright?"

    he opened his muzzle and tried to form the words he wanted to speak, only to have them come out odd and squeaky, "it huwts."
    the vixen looked concerned and bent to take a closer look, noting that his arm was marked by tattoos and scars all over, "how in the world did that happen to you"

    he appeared to notice his surroundings, and began to speak slowly sounding more adult-like with each sentence, however, the effect was spoiled by his appearance which was somewhere around three or four years old "a mortal? but kitsune? then i'm still in tarra..." he regained some composure "i don't know what possessed you to take me, but i am a nothing, and you shouldn't concern your self in the affairs of the immortal...... WHY am i wearing a diaper?"

    she giggled, bringing light back into her beautiful features, "well, you've been out for two days and after the first day... i really didn't want to have to wash the sheets again. and well... you are a kit."

    he flopped  back down, "someone had the bright idea of summoning them, i will find the idiot and i will send him past the gates"

    she had a blank look on her furry features and still looked somewhat concerned. but suddenly ko-yami was gripped by a strong headache and a feeling of lightness. and after the spots had cleared from his vision, he realized that he remembered absolutely nothing from before he had woken up.

    "oww" he rubbed his forehead, wondering where the phantom pain had come from.

    she looked as if she had remembered something, "ko-yami, i believe i owe you an explanation. i am beth, and you looked like you needed help badly, you were out in that snow drift completely unprotected, so i took you in. i've always wanted a kit of my own you see..."

    ko-yami looked at her, wishing he knew what to say to this goddess of vulpine perfection, it came to him easily, "if it will make you happy, in return for your kindness i will be your kit."

    a smile encompassed her face, on some this may have been the evil look of the fox getting the chicken, but on her, it only served to enhance her beauty.

    "are ya hungry?"
    his growling stomach told her everything she needed to know.

    chapter three

    a few hours later, beth lay reclined on the bed holding ko-yami like an infant, feeding him from a second bottle of warm milk, it had taken a minute for him to get used to the idea, but seeing as he remembered no reason why he shouldn't he went along with it. ko-yami had drifted off to sleep again, and beth's eyes studied the anklet he wore above his left paw, three black lines connected to a silver circle. she wondered why someone of his age would have been given one, but having lived in tarra for so long, dismissed it, for as she well knew appearances could be decieving. she lifted the bottom of her left pant leg to reveal her own...

    ----

    before him stood a creature, bent with... age and malicious intent.

    it's lank white hair was matted and interwoven with thistles, and it's large red eyes stared blindly at him. the feathers stood at odd positions on it's four once-white wings, and like it's sodden tail, dragged on the ground, like a water logged corpse, as it walked. in it's right hand was a long white katana, and it's left was covered in an intricate whorl of scar and tattoo, forming into the spell symbols used to open the nine gates.

    contrary to it's appearance, it's voice was mortal enough, and almost but not quite managed to sound like ko-yami.

    "let me out please. it's been so long in this darkness, i'm losing the will to live"

    after no response it bared it's fangs and snarled, it's voice changing to a harsher gutteral howl, "give me my body! my life! your soul!"

    ----

    "waaaaaaaaah!"

    beth ran in from the kitchen, a long knife tucked into her belt. "ko-yami, what is it? what happened?!"

    ko-yami crouched at the head of the bed and stared in mortal terror, at the full length mirror at the far end of the room. despite the fact that the mirror was absolutely normal in every way, what he saw while looking into it, was a waking nightmare. it took a few minutes to register that he only saw himself in it, but even so, his heart still beat furiously.

    "ko-yami?"

    "i'm okay, just spooked a little... momma"

    beth blinked then a smile lit her face again, and she scooped him up in a bear hug.

    after snuggling him for a few minutes she announced, "breakfast is ready. but first my little kit needs to be changed, you're soaked!". ko-yami looked aghast. "how? all i had was those two bottles of mil...okay then."

    she picked him up and then used her dresser as a makeshift changing table to quickly change him into a disposable diaper.

    ko-yami was impressed, "you must have been practicing that."

    she grinned "i'll never tell..." and then put him down after a light swat at his tail.

    unlike most kits his "age" ko-yami had no trouble walking, and held both his head and tail aloft with the regal bearing of a lord. his right arm swung with his steps as he moved but his left stayed pointing at the ground. he noticed this as he followed the mouthwatering scents to the kitchen, and thought, "i'm gonna have to cover that soon, those marks are making me dizzy."

    beth ran up behind him and grabbed him under the arms, giggling and then slid to the makeshift table in her living room, which she had set before ko-yami's untimely wakeup call. "ignore the mess, i tend to get a bit cluttered after being out here alone for so many months" she went to sit down and thumped her head on an over hanging root.

    (OMG! i completely forgot the house. sorry 'bout that. oh well, i can describe it here better... beth actually has a "den" under a very large redwood in the middle of a forest far to the north and west of azu-metro city. the roots cross her house at odd intervals. ie: expect more ka-thunks.=^_^=.)

    she paused for a minute to rub at the sore spot it had given her, "i hope you like clam chowder, it seems that's all that was in the kitchen... i need to get groceries." she looked somewhat emberassed.
    "did you say clam chowder?" ko-yami was drooling.

    fifteen minutes and three steaming bowls later,

    "you know i've never seen anyone eat that much food, that fast" she was wide eyed, almost giggling again.
    "well, it was guuuuuuuuude" he sighed in contentment and leaned back.

    the waistband on his diaper was visibly tighter, and as he stared at it, he noticed something. he still retained control of his bodily functions, apparently the night before had been a product of stress and the two bottles of warm milk.
    'well', he thought 'she wanted a kit...', and with a lopsided smile, filled his diaper.

    it took a moment before beth noticed the smell, "i thought so, three bowls was a litle too much." she nodded sagely, and started giggling again, "well, i guess i have to change you again."

    he held up his arms, "make it so number one," at which point they both fell on the floor laughing.

    she picked him up around the waist and 'flew' him back to her bedroom. "pilot to bombardier, release hatch one!" he crashed into the bed, with a fit of laughter.

    after rummaging around in the bottom of her dresser for a minute, she came up with another diaper and a package of wipes. at which point ko-yami got a sudden urge and soaked his diaper again. the already overused garment turned a sodden yellow and began to get horribly squishy. ko-yami wriggled in pleasure at the feeling it gave him, he placed a paw on the front and rubbed himself, causing it to tent up a moment later.

    "enjoying yourself?"
    "yipe!" ko-yami jumped in suprise.
    "don't worry, it's perfectly natural."
    "wha?"

    she just smiled, happy to have a kit of her own at last.

    a moment later she told him to lay down and she began to to change him, this time being very meticulous about it. she carefully cleaned him back to front, and then slid a clean diaper under him, being careful to thread his tail through. "... y'know, it might be a better idea to use two this time." and so she did.

    "well, judging by the state of my cabinets, i think we'll make a trip to town."
    "in that mess?"
    "don't underestimate me." she said with a sly smirk, "first though, we need to get you dressed for the weather. my nephew left his old clothes in one of these boxes." she stood up suddenly, holding a large cardboard box, and walked right into another overhanging root, "next on the list, a chainsaw."

    ko-yami dove into the box (literally) and a few seconds later an entire side collapsed and he came rolling out, "i found something."

    he had pulled out a long blue overcoat, a pair of black snow pants, and of all things a kiyo hat. he also pulled out a roll of gauze, and before dressing bandaged his wounded arm with it.
    beth, helped him don the clothing he had picked out, as well as a few improvisations of her own. by the time they finished, ko-yami's hair was tied back into a long white ponytail, and his clothing made him look even younger.

    "umm, momma, how are we gonna get there?"
    she picked him up and walked outside, having gotten dressed in under a minute."you'll see."

    as soon as she passed the lintel he shuddered and then curled up against her whimpering again, "ko-yami, what's wrong?"
    "my... eyes, the sunlight it hurts." she got her first real look at them then. the iris was a uniform grey, but the pupils were blood red. "i thought i forgot something" she seemed unphased by their strange coloring, and pulled a pair of sunglasses from inside her coat. ko-yami put them on and then relaxed, "i'm sorry about that"
    "don't worry about it, that's why you've got me now. to help you."

    she carried him easily to what could have been mistaken for a small hill.
    she put him down, reared back and punched it square in the middle.

    "the red baron mark II." the motorcycle had definitely been tinkered with, and looked all the better for it.

    -----

    "yahoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

    they were both yelling as loud as possible, clearly ecstatic. ko-yami had already wet himself in the sheer exhilaration of the ride. the baron's speedometer read over one hundred mph, but neither of them noticed, as they headed for the growing lights ahead of them.

    chapter four

    they coasted into the city at around fifty miles an hour, both frozen to the seat but lustily singing "shot to the heart"(bon jovi =^_^=).

    "grocery store, where did they put the grocery store?"
    "i take it you don't go to town much?"
    "mmmm,well... the streets all look the same."

    fifteen minutes later they came to a stop in front of a large, brightly lit grocery store. beth found a spot for the baron, and picked ko-yami up. by the time they got inside they were almost colder than they had been while riding.

    "let's see...... we need to get food, something that will last a while, that we can easily carry back. as well as diapers for you, i actually had very few left after my nephew moved out. and then--"
    "ging-g-g-g-ger snaps!"

    he was on the floor in seconds, running on all fours full tilt towards the snacks isle.
    beth looked skyward, and then catching the scent herself, ran after him.

    she found him lying below the shelf hugging a large bag of ginger snaps, grinning from ear to ear.

    she said, "we're going to need more than one.... those really do smell good."
    -----

    forty minutes later they walked outside carrying a few small bags, enough food for about two weeks.
    they got to the baron and beth, kicking a spot behind the front tire, pulled out two bungie cords.
    noticing ko-yami's stare, "until i get time to install a sidecar we'll have to rely on using these alot."

    "lady step away from the bike!"

    two wolves dressed in mugging gear walked toward them, one armed with a hunting knife, the other with brass knuckles.

    ko-yami stepped in front of beth, who was reaching below the seat for something. he tossed off the overcoat and the hat, and spoke in a voice that sounded far older than his own, "get. back. now."
    the pair laughed, and the brass knuckled one mocked him, "why look it's a little baby all dressed up for a night on da town, soooo cute. he must think he's a match for us."

    ko-yami's sunglasses, along with a portion of the parking lot beside him, immediately dissolved into nothing. a slender black katana materialized in his outstretched right hand. his pupils were fully dilated, making his eyes look blood red.

    now the muggers were interested, "so, a mage, bring it on you little baby!"

    the one holding the knife moved his paws in a several complex gestures, and suddenly the knife was longer and glowing with electrical energy.

    ko-yami looked directly at him, and this time the wolf was caught in his gaze, the basilisk eyes finally beginning to work, "don't ever call me a baby."

    the wolf stood stock still, unable to move, and ko-yami dashed towards him. he never unsheathed the katana, but instead used it as a bludgeon, targeting the wolf's knees, bringing the would be attacker down to his level, before administering a knock out blow to the back of his head. the other wolf simply stared, his mouth hanging open, speechless.

    "pick him up and get out of my sight."
    the mugger stuttered, "w-w-who are you?"
    ko-yami picked up his coat, and redressed, before looking over and with a terrifying calmness stating, "i am the left hand of god. that is all you need to know."

    beth was almost as scared as the now rapidly retreating thieves. but ko-yami looked at her and blinked sleepily, "can we go home now?"

    she picked him up, and hugged him, whispering "thank you."

    he yawned and clambered onto the baron, holding the katana across his legs, his eyes tightly closed against the sun.

    ----one hour later----

    beth was still a bit shaken, after the incident, but gratefully sank onto the bed once they were back. ko-yami looked up from his spot on her lap, and smiled. "momma can i have another bottle?"
    she got up and snagged a bottle from the fridge, and sat back down, holding ko-yami like an infant once more. however, the milk was still cold, ko-yami looked at it for a minute and then held his left arm in front of him and murmered three words, causing a small black flame to appear in his paw. he warmed the bottle as beth watched, stunned that her adopted child had such immaculate control over his powers, and also stunned because the last time she had seen someone summon fire that color, it had been over a millenia ago in the hands of the man who brought her back from the brink of death.