    BIG BABY

    Summary: Small boy goes through childhood with potty problems his
    younger brothers are normal. They like to keep him a baby.

    When I turned 6 years old in June 1990 school was out in early June.
    Boy, was I glad, too. Kindergarten was not fun for me because I already
    knew how to read and write at the second-grade level but because of my
    small size I was stuck in the kindergarten class. Last fall when school
    started I was just 5, very small for a five-year-old; the size of a two
    or three-year-old.

    The only thing I liked in kindergarten was playtime but playtime only
    lasted for an hour each day. When playtime was over it was back to
    saying our ABCs and counting to one hundred, writing numbers and
    letters on the blackboard. Some kids could read baby books; most could
    not even read or write their name. The class was so boring. At home I
    would read second- and third-grade adventure books to my baby brothers.
    They were more fun than baby books.

    I had two brothers—Billy, age four, almost five. He was just thirteen
    months younger than me but much bigger. Billy could read kindergarten
    books, do the alphabet writing and numbers. We were smart kids. My baby
    brother Kevin was age two. He was about the same size as me, maybe
    bigger. I liked to read them bedtime stories at night after they had
    their bath and had their pajamas on. I thought mom still dressed them
    in night diapers under their pajamas because I did not take a bath with
    them. I was allowed to play while mom bathed them I was the big boy,
    not the baby. Kevin had just mastered the potty last week without being
    potty trained by mom. He just wanted to be a big boy and started to
    tell mom when he needed to pee or poop.

    Kevin was completely potty-trained. Mom was so proud of big-boy Kevin.
    She let him use my regular underwear. Kevin was now a big boy just like
    Billy and he no longer needed diapers, day or night. Billy was potty-
    trained day and night after two years of bedwetting. One year ago he
    had a lot of trouble all the time having accidents, but he is a big kid
    now. I did not care about my brother’s potty training. It was not that
    important to me because I was potty trained. I was already a big kid
    now. I paid no attention to my brother’s potty needs. They were just
    babies. I was the only big boy. Big boys don’t think about potty needs;
    they just use the potty, not their pants. I just had a bedwetting
    problem. I wet my bed every night. I do not wet my pants like a real
    baby. I have never had an accident during the day since being potty
    trained. I have never had a single dry night, not even one. Mom told me
    some big boys still wet the bed until they are ten or twelve but they
    stop before they are thirteen. My bedwetting is okay; she told me not
    to worry about it.

    I was daytime potty trained at age eighteen months old with a lot of
    accidents just like Billy, but mom started to spank me every time I wet
    my pants. The spankings hurt a lot. Billy was just a five-month-old
    baby when mom told me she did not want to have two boys wearing
    diapers. Mom told me I was the big boy now and need to use the potty,
    not my diaper. Mom forced me out of my diapers, spanking me for every
    small wetting or messing, telling me I was too old to be in diapers.
    Mom told me her potty rules they were simple.

    POTTY RULES

    Action	Punishment

    Wearing underpants

    	You must wear cloth training pants for 21 dry days.

    Wet cloth training pants

    	You get ten hard spanks on your bare bottom.

    You are put back into plastic training pants 21 dry days.

    Wet plastic training pants

    	You get fifteen hard spanks on your bare bottom.

    You are put back into diapers for three days.

    Messy pants

    	You get twenty hard spanks on your bare bottom.

    You are put back into diapers for the day.

    Wet bed

    	You must wear night diapers until you have 21 dry nights. If you
    wear night diapers you must wear cloth training pants during the day.

    *NOTE:

    If you have more than one messy pants accidents in one day or more than
    five pants wetting accidents you go back to wearing diapers for two
    days.

     If you are in daytime diapers you are a baby and are treated just like
    a baby and use ONLY baby things YOU ARE NOT A BIG BOY.

    After two weeks I finally pleased my mom by not having an accident in
    my pants. I would run to the potty every half hour. I wanted to please
    my mom; life was easier that way. I was all the time running to the
    potty without help using the potty. I was the big boy. Mom was so proud
    of herself getting her little boy potty-trained, not needing daytime
    diapers. My bedwetting was still a problem. Mom could not get me to
    stop wetting the bed no matter what she did. She finally gave up,
    letting me wet my bed. I used just one diaper a day now. Besides, Pull-
    Ups came out last year so I could change my own wet clothes every
    morning and I could change my own wet clothes. Now she would have just
    Billy to worry about. Mom never potty-trained Billy with spankings. She
    just led him to the potty every two hours until he got the idea.

    I was just four years old, wetting my bed at naptime and at night the
    doctor told mom until I turn 6 bedwetting is normal. He told mom to
    prevent me from getting embarrassed to help me hide my bedwetting from
    everybody. So mom helped keep my secret from my brothers. Mom was the
    only one that knew I still needed night diapers (Pull-ups). I did not
    want my brothers to ever discover I was a baby at night, just like
    them. I would do whatever mom asked me to do to protect my secret. I
    thought if my brothers found out I wore Pull-Ups at night they would
    think I was a baby like them.

    I was not a baby like them. I was the big boy of the house. My brothers
    would have to do things my way because I was the big boy. I was not a
    baby like them; they still need their diapers changed all the time. If
    they found out I wet the bed they would not do what I told them to do
    because I would be a baby, too. I was still the oldest. They had to do
    it my way. I was still the boss when mom was not around.

    When Billy was 3 he still wet the bed just like me, so he wore diapers
    to bed, too, but he only wet one or two times a week. He even wore day
    diapers on shopping trips or on long car rides because of accidents. I
    had a closed pop bottle to pee into on the long trips since I could
    only hold my pee for a short time. Kevin was just a baby. He wore
    diapers all the time. Kevin’s diapers were too small for me to wear.
    Then, he was just a little baby; he wore size 4 Pampers. At night if I
    was out of Pull-Ups I had to wear Billy’s diapers to bed, but Billy’s
    diapers were too big. He wore size 6 and they always leaked.

    Six months later Kevin had grown to wear size 5 Huggies. Now I can use
    his diapers if I run out of my Pull-Ups. My bed stays dry most nights
    now that I am wearing the right size Pull-Up or diaper. Billy stopped
    bedwetting his bed six months ago. Now he is wearing underpants and
    pajamas, no longer needing night diapers, or diapered on car trips.
    This was his secret from me.

    Mom lets me put on my own Pull-Ups after I take a bath by myself only
    if I have not run out my Pull-Ups. If I ever run out of Pull-Ups she
    will diaper me with Kevin’s diapers at my later bedtime when my
    brothers are asleep. I am the big kid. The babies’ bedtime is 8:00; big
    kids’ bedtime is 9:00.

    I run out of Pull-Ups all the time so I asked mom when she is going to
    get a lot more Pull-Ups. Mom said she is not buying more Pull-Ups. She
    was buying only diapers since I have not had a dry night. Mom diapers
    me lying on the changing table next to Kevin’s crib just like I was
    just a baby. Mom says since I keep wetting my bed like a baby that is
    the way it is going to be. Mom started diapering me every night before
    I go to bed at my bedtime. She lets me put on my own pajamas I was a
    big boy, not a complete baby.

    When I am finished dressing for bed I could go quietly to bed while my
    brothers were asleep. That way Billy and Kevin would not see me wearing
    diapers. My bed had a crinkly plastic sheet that made a lot of noise
    every time I moved but it kept my mattress dry if my night diapers
    leaked. I was lucky my brothers were sound sleepers. The noise was very
    loud; I did not wake them. Even my plastic sheet went unnoticed by my
    brothers. They were babies. Besides, Billy’s bed had the same type
    plastic sheet. Every move he made the same crackly sound the same way
    mine did. My night diapers went unnoticed for months because diapers
    were in the house. Kevin was not potty trained yet. Kevin wore diapers
    because he was just a baby.

    Billy used night diapers until last year, then he went six months dry,
    so mom let him out of night diapers. Since Billy has not wet at night
    for almost six months mom let him wear just underpants. Last week Billy
    wet his only wet bed in over six months. Mom said his plastic sheet
    stays on his bed until he is dry for a full year.

    Kevin had stopped pooping his diaper three months ago, asking mom for
    the potty. Our room did not smell like a poopy nursery anymore, just
    pee. I thought Kevin still wet his diapers three or four times a day
    and wet his bed like a baby. I thought both of my brothers were diaper
    babies wearing diapers. I thought since they wore diapers I did not
    need to keep my bedwetting a secret. I would wake up before my
    brothers, remove my wet size 5 Pamper and put it in the pail. I could
    put the wet diaper in the pail with Kevin’s pile of used diapers. Then
    I would put my on my regular underpants and no one would know. I
    thought my brothers would never know I was wearing diapers at night
    just like them.

    I did not know the last few weeks Kevin has started to ask for the
    potty so mom took him out of diapers, letting him wear Pull-Ups and
    thick cloth training pants. Mom thought he would be like me and Kevin
    and have a lot of accidents. Mom did not tell me Kevin was out of
    diapers. It was no big deal to Kevin so he did not talk about not
    wearing diapers. He just used the potty like a big boy. I knew since
    Kevin still slept in a crib he was a baby; that’s where babies sleep. I
    never knew he potty trained himself mom did not tell me. I still found
    stinky wet diapers in the diaper pail next to the crib in our room. It
    still smelled like a nursery.

    I was taking my bath and did not hear when Kevin asked mom, “Where are
    these stinky diapers coming from?” He doesn’t use diapers like a baby,
    he is a big boy. He did not know that they were my night diapers. Mom
    said she did not know where the wet diapers came from. I did not know
    Kevin was potty-trained, no longer using baby diapers. I was now the
    only one using protective clothing. I was not that careful how I
    disposed of my wet night diapers.

    After a week of my wet diapers piling up in the diaper pail, Billy and
    Kevin asked mom again where the wet diapers came from. Billy said she
    can get that stinky diaper pail out of our room. I was taking my bath
    when they asked mom that question. Mom said she did not know but until
    the pail stays empty she is going to keep it in here.

    One morning I overslept. My brothers woke up early. They found out
    where all the stinky wet diapers came from. Kevin was the one who found
    me sound asleep in my bed with my bloated size 5 Huggies diaper under
    my pajamas. I had kicked off my covers, exposing the bloated diaper
    under my pajamas. I could not hide my accident fast enough from Kevin.
    Billy woke up to Kevin’s giggling and pointing at me from his crib. I
    started crying. With no covers to grab to hide my blotted diaper, Billy
    started to giggle too.

    Mom came in to our room to my brother’s giggles. Mom helped me remove
    my soaked diaper, lying in my bed with my brothers giggling every
    minute. Mom told them to stop teasing me or they would be spanked. Mom
    put me on the changing table. After my diaper was removed she cleaned
    and powdered me then put a pair of Pull-Ups on me. I asked why I had to
    wear the Pull-Ups. Mom said until I stopped wetting at night I need
    protection.

    From then on Billy and Kevin teased me for my infantile act, causing me
    to cry every night when mom diapered me at my new bedtime on the
    changing table. Mom was tired of trying to keep my secret. Now I was
    six years old. mom said I needed to learn to hold my pee longer. I
    started crying all the time. With my brothers teasing constantly, she
    told my brothers if they teased me more or told anyone outside the
    family I need night diapers they would get full-time diapers for a week
    just like a baby. If they wear diapers they would not be allowed to use
    the potty; they would use their diapers. They got scared. They did not
    want baby diapers they were big boys. Then she told me if I don’t stop
    crying I would have to keep a pacifier in my mouth fulltime. That
    stopped my crying when the teasing from my brothers stopped. The
    teasing stopped only when mom was around but when mom was not around
    they teased causing me to cry they never got caught teasing me so my
    punishment for crying was a pacifier.

    A week after my brothers found out I needed night diapers mom told me
    it is only fair that I sleep in the crib since I was the only one still
    wearing diapers. Mom said Kevin could sleep in the big-boy bed. Only
    big boys with no diapers are allowed to sleep in a big-boy bed. Since I
    still wet the bed every night I still need night diapers, no more Pull-
    Ups until I have one dry night. That means I am the baby and babies
    sleep in a crib.

    I did not know Kevin has not wet his bed in over a year, that it was so
    easy for him to sleep dry all night. Mom said Kevin could sleep in a
    big-boy bed without a plastic sheet, unlike Billy, who sleeps in a big
    boy bed with a plastic sheet because of his accident last month. She
    said Billy still needs a plastic sheet on his bed because he wet his
    bed last month. Mom said, “You have to have one year of sleeping dry,
    too; sleep with no plastic sheet. To get a big-boy bed you need to be
    dry for a month.”

    Mom had a no-climbing-out-of-the-crib rule if you climb out of the crib
    with the sides up you get a bare-bottom spanking. At night mom put me
    in the crib after diapering me on the changing table. I started to
    whimper so mom put a pacifier in my mouth to keep me quiet. The first
    time I had this happen I spit it out, saying, “No! I am not a baby! I
    will not suck on that baby thing! You can’t make me!” Mom picked me up
    out of the crib, removed my pajama bottoms and diapers to give me the
    hardest bare-bottom spanking I have ever had. She told me if I don’t
    keep my pacifier in my mouth and do what she tells me when she tells me
    I would be spanked again and again until I do. From then on when she
    put my pacifier in my mouth I was more than happy to start to suck it,
    if she gave me a bottle I was so happy to suck it. I did not want
    spanked again. Mom had me start using every baby thing she could think
    of. I was so happy to do things for her just to prevent another
    spanking.

    Mom took me to the doctor. Then I spent three days in the hospital
    having tests run on me to see why I soaked my bed every time I slept.
    Due to my small size I had to be with the babies where I had to stay in
    a crib with other babies in other cribs. The ages of the babies were
    two- and three-year-olds I had to wear diapers all day and night,
    wetting just as many diapers as the other kids, maybe more. They found
    out my bladder was only 10% of what it should be and I would have
    trouble the rest of my life.

    The rest of the summer that I turned 6 years old I was turned into the
    family baby, using all of my brother’s old baby things: crib,
    highchair, car seat, and all his baby clothes. We lived out in the
    country five miles from the nearest house. No one out side the family
    knew about it. At first I was babied ONLY when I napped or was sleeping
    at night. No other baby things were added to my life except my
    pacifier.

    The second week was horrible. That is, when I lost all my big-boy
    rights. I had wet my Pull-Up early one morning after breakfast. I was
    trying to stay away from my brothers’ teasing. I have not wet my pants
    since I was potty trained at age 18 months old. I was a big boy. I knew
    I was not a baby I never thought wetting my pants was a big deal. My
    brothers have done it without much punishment.

    When mom found me hiding behind the garage wearing a wet Pull-Up trying
    to figure a way to get a dry Pull-Up without mom seeing me. It was an
    hour after breakfast when mom found me, so she marched me into the
    house past my brothers. Billy and Kevin followed us into our room. Mom
    said she is not putting up with wet pants from anyone. If you wet your
    pants you need diapered. She said I should have gone into the house and
    changed my Pull-Up when I wet them like a big boy should. Not go hiding
    like a baby. I was too old to do that.

    She said big boys take care of their own wet pants; toddlers in
    training just hide. I was put on the changing table where she removed
    my wet clothes, cleaned and powdered me. She had me ready for the thick
    cloth training pants, the same pants Kevin used last month, telling me
    the rules about pants wetting. These were then same rules she had for
    me when I was eighteen-months-old.

    POTTY RULES

    Action	Punishment

    Wearing underpants

    	You must wear cloth training pants for 21 dry days.

    Wet cloth training pants

    	You get ten hard spanks on your bare bottom.

    You are put back into plastic training pants 21 dry days.

    Wet plastic training pants

    	You get fifteen hard spanks on your bare bottom.

    You are put back into diapers for three days.

    Messy pants

    	You get twenty hard spanks on your bare bottom.

    You are put back into diapers for the day.

    Wet bed

    	You must wear night diapers until you have 21 dry nights. If you
    wear night diapers you must wear cloth training pants during the day.

    *NOTE:

    If you have more than one messy pants accidents in one day or more than
    five pants wetting accidents you go back to wearing diapers for two
    days.

    Mom said if I wet again today I go back to diapers and my training will
    start over in three weeks. If you are dry for three weeks you get your
    big-boy pants back. Kevin never had an accident in the training pants.
    They were almost new, never been wet in. Kevin potty trained himself.
    He wanted to be a big boy not a baby.

    I went out to play with my brothers wearing training pants under my
    play clothes. My brothers knew I was wearing training pants that did
    not have plastic pants. The training pants were almost like underpants.
    They made no noise so it was easy to forget what I was wearing them. My
    brothers forgot I was wearing training pants. They were just little
    kids and little kids don’t notice things like that.

    Mom called us to eat lunch. Two hours later mom had me in the highchair
    in seconds. My pants were already soaked so I did not protest being in
    the highchair. Mom started feeding me while my brothers watched. I was
    too afraid to protest so I ate my lunch while my brothers fed
    themselves. Mom started to feed me lunch. I whispered to mom I needed
    to poop but mom told me in a loud voice I need to learn to hold it like
    a big boy. I tried to hold my poop back but never needing to hold my
    need more than ten or fifteen minutes because it was so hard to do.
    Five minutes later I lost my battle loading my wet training pants with
    a large amount of soft poop followed by another flood of pee. I
    whimpered as mom finished feeding me my lunch she handed me my bottle.

    Kevin said. He smells poop. Mom said. Your big brother is sitting here
    in his highchair sucking his bottle with poop in his wet pants. Mom
    asked. What should we do with him? Kevin said. In a loud voice if you
    poop your pants you’re a baby. Billy said, “Yeah, he needs diapers like
    a baby because he pees his bed like a baby, too.” Mom carried me to our
    bedroom when I finished my bottle. She put me on the changing table
    where she removed my training pants and threw them in the trash saying,
    “These are trash, now they are ruined.” Mom cleaned my messy bottom
    with ten baby wipes while my brothers watched.

    Mom proceeded to put me over her knee and spanked my twenty hard
    spanks. I was crying uncontrollably as mom put diaper rash cream on me,
    powdered me getting me already to be diapered. I tried to object to the
    diaper but knew better so I sucked my pacifier as mom worked to pin on
    a thick cloth diaper and pull up a pair of puffy nursery print plastic
    pants.

    It was naptime. Mom said I had to take a nap. My brothers slept in big-
    boy-beds; I had my crib. Since I could not get out of the crib without
    mom saying I was allowed to. I would have to call mom to let me climb
    out.

    Yesterday when I called for the potty I woke my brothers. I found out
    if woke my brothers I would get a bare bottom spanking. The spanking
    was so painful I did not want to repeat it so I lay down in my crib
    trying to hold my pee until naptime was over. I was a big boy. I did
    not sleep at naptime. I just lay there awake waiting. Because of the
    thick cloth diapers mom had pinned on me I could not squeeze hard
    enough to stop my pee. Pee was going into my diaper no matter what I
    did after I soaked my diaper I fell asleep sucking my pacifier.

    When mom woke us up Kevin asked, “Did the baby wet again?”

    Mom said, “Your big brother has soaked his diaper.” I was still asleep
    sucking my pacifier when mom put me on the changing table and removed
    my wet diapers. Mom cleaned off my wet bottom powdered it then had
    another diaper pinned in place with my brothers watching. I woke up as
    mom was pulling my plastic pants on. I tried to object to being put
    back in daytime diapers but mom said I did not listen to the potty
    rules. She had plastic pants on me followed by a diaper t-shirt that
    snapped at the bottom and snap crotched short overalls. She told me she
    will potty-train me in a few weeks or so if I can prove I was a big
    boy. I was dressed in my brother’s old toddler clothes I looked like my
    brother did last month when he was in diapers. He wears big-boy clothes
    now, not toddler clothes with all the snaps. I looked like a toddler or
    a big baby with my puffy pants; I felt like one, too.

    I tried to take off my overalls but the snaps were out of my reach so I
    had to wear toddler clothes while I played with my baby brothers. We
    had fun the rest of the day playing, me forgetting I was diapered; my
    brothers also forgot. Mom called us in to eat dinner. She checked my
    diaper, telling my brothers how wet I was. My brothers went to the
    potty for the first time since I was diapered after my nap. They had
    held their pee for a long time. Not like me. I had wet my diaper
    several times in the same period. They had to wait until mom changed my
    diaper. I hadn’t realized I was wet or remember wetting my diaper. Mom
    had me on the changing table removing my plastic pants. Then the air
    hit my wet diaper. I knew I had soaked my diaper but not when.

    Mom and I returned to the kitchen. My brothers were finished using the
    potty waiting in the kitchen. Billy and Kevin were sitting at the table
    in their booster seats. Mom lifted me into the highchair, fastening the
    seat belt, followed by the tray. I asked, “Mom, why do I need the tray?
    Kevin has not used the tray in a long time.”

    Mom said, “Big boys using diapers still need the tray.” So I was
    sitting in Kevin’s old highchair wearing just a diaper and plastic
    pants, no other clothes.

    While my brothers fed themselves mom spoon-fed me after she put my bib
    on. I had no choice put to sit there wearing my bib while mom spoon-fed
    me. I then knew how helpless I was now. When mom finished feeding me
    she handed me my bottle. I was told to drink it or I would not get out
    of the highchair. I eagerly started to suck my bottle, enjoying the
    taste. After I finished my bottle mom released me to go play with my
    brothers. I played until mom said it was bath time.

    Before I started to wear diapers I used to take a bath alone because I
    was a big boy, not a baby. Now that mom had me back in diapers mom had
    us all in the bathroom together. I was still sucking my pacifier as mom
    filled the tub with warm, soapy water. Mom told my brothers to take
    their clothes off and get in the tub. While my brothers removed their
    clothes and got in the tub they started to take their bath. Mom
    undressed me, then sat me on the potty chair next to the tub, strapped
    me down and told me to use the potty like a big boy. While I sat there
    on the potty. I watched mom wash my brother’s hair, then handed them a
    towel to dry off. My brothers were finished with their bath, drying off
    getting dressed for bed.

    Without mom telling Billy what to do, he dried off then put his
    underwear and pajamas on then waited for Kevin to finish. Kevin was the
    next one to get out of the tub, drying himself off with a towel mom
    handed him, getting dressed, leaving me sitting on the potty still.
    Billy helped Kevin a little to dry and get dressed for bed. I watched
    my brothers get ready for bed while I was sitting on the potty chair
    doing nothing. Mom unfastened the seat belt and lifted me off the potty
    saying, “Nothing in the potty. I see you must not be ready for potty-
    training yet maybe in three weeks.”

    Mom washed me all over then washed my hair. Kevin had no trouble
    getting his underpants and pajamas on. Billy did not need to help,
    Kevin said. He was a big boy and did not want help. My brothers left
    the bathroom to go play while mom finished bathing me.

    Mom started to drain the tub having me to stand up drying my hair and
    upper body. As she dried my hair I peed in the water without thinking.
    She quickly picked me up. I stopped peeing, then dried my bottom and
    crotch area. Mom carried me to our room, laying me on the changing
    table. I knew I was soon going to be wearing a clean fluffy soft dry
    diaper and plastic pants. I was starting to like diapers. They let me
    do things longer without running to the potty all the time. They even
    felt good to me. As mom was putting on the diaper I felt a tingling as
    pee shot up in the air. Mom quickly covered the stream with the clean
    dry diaper until I finished. Mom just replaced the now wet diaper she
    started to use with another clean dry one. Within minutes I was
    waddling out of our room wearing my dry diaper and plastic pants to the
    playroom to join my brother’s play. I smelled and felt so good. I was
    still sucking my pacifier without thinking. Mom had put it in my mouth.
    after I had finished eating I did not want spanked so I kept it there.
    My brothers had stopped teasing me since it seamed so normal for me to
    be diapered full time now, they expected me to be wearing diapers now
    that I was the baby.

    Two weeks back in diapers I was wetting and messing like a real baby
    not ready to start potty training. I did not care if I did ever get
    potty trained again it was too much work diapers were so easy to use.
    Mom said. She had to start her new job tomorrow we would go to the only
    daycare in town. The daycare is where some of the kids from school were
    going, too, but I did not know or care I was a six-year-old. Mom would
    not send me to a baby class with my brothers.

    The daycare told mom because I was still wearing daytime diapers. I
    should not normally be in the big boy class with my brothers. They told
    mom I should go to the not-yet-potty-trained class with the babies and
    toddlers if they had more babies or toddlers. They told mom they had
    only one other kid in the baby class. He was a two-year-old boy, about
    the same size as me wearing training pants. So the class my brothers
    and three other boys were in and the baby class the two-year-old and I
    was in would be combined. My brothers’ class is supposed to be for 3-
    year-old or potty trained to 6-year-old kids only. Now the combined
    class is for kids at least 2-years-old to 6-year-olds potty trained and
    un-potty trained.

    After another two weeks using my diapers like a two-year-old. At
    daycare it was normal for me to wear baby clothes everywhere. My normal
    day started out when I got to daycare in the morning. I was wearing my
    overall pants and tee shirt covering my thick diapers. I did not think
    anything about what I looked like to the other kids. My size let me
    pass for a real toddler, except everyone in my class knew differently.
    The two other boys from my kindergarten class and my brothers they knew
    how old I was but they did not care.

    Needing diapers meant that the only clothes I was allowed to wear at
    daycare were t-shirt, plastic pants and diapers or disposable diapers.
    Every morning all my clothes were removed except my t-shirt and my
    diapers. The daycare people told me that wearing just diapers and
    plastic pants is so they could tell when I needed a diaper change.
    Since I don’t tell them when I need changed. This also let’s everyone
    know I was still just a Toddler and what I was allowed to do.

    All the other kids knew I was a just another toddler. Even the older
    kids that came to our class to help care for us they would know I was
    the only diapered kid with no big kid rights. The caretakers had a term
    J.A.T. (JUST ANOTHER TODDLER) just like the caretakers all the other
    kids called me the new JAT.

    Potty training for me was a long way off. They told me since I was
    always wet just like a real baby I was not dry enough to be a big
    toddler by holding his pee for at least two hours. That is the goal for
    all toddlers. I wet as many diapers as a one-year-old if they changed
    all my wet diapers. I would use 9 to 12 a day. My diaper wetting put me
    in the not-ready class. They only change me when I am really wet and
    leaking.

    Mom was happy to keep me in daytime diapers for the next two years,
    going to daycare with my brothers. By the time I was daytime potty
    trained I was 9 years old doing seventh-grade school work wearing Pull-
    Ups. I still had a small bladder holding my pee for just an hour but
    they let me off baby treatment for my good behavior. I was the size of
    a kindergartener kid. I could change my own wet Pull-Up that helped me
    get out of daytime diapers. I still wet my bed every night and when I
    took a nap so mom bought me a twin- sized hospital crib telling me I
    was still a baby until I stopped wetting my bed every time I slept.

    I slept in my crib wearing diapers and plastic pants and daytime Pull-
    Ups. I still liked sucking my pacifier at night until I was fourteen.
    When I turned thirteen mom taught me to diaper myself for bedtime and
    my bed-wetting was my responsibility. I would diaper myself put my
    pacifier in my mouth climb into my crib, leaving the side half way down
    so I could get out. If the side of my crib was put all the way up I
    needed some one to let me out. My bedtime was an hour before my
    brother’s bedtime they were big boys I was the baby.

    My brothers like locking me in while I slept but they always let me out
    because mom would get mad if she found out. One night I was getting
    ready for bed. I could not find my pajamas my brother’s had hide all my
    two-piece pajamas except one of my one piece pajamas it was my
    sleepers. The sleeper is the one that I needed help to get on and off
    so Kevin was more than happy to help he even helped me put my diaper
    on. My brothers always helped me do things so mom would not get mad at
    me.

    One Friday morning mom left for work early in the morning, leaving us
    home alone. She did this one or two times a week. This morning after
    mom left for work my brother’s quietly put the side of my crib up
    before I woke up. I had to spend the day wetting my diaper like a baby.
    They fed me and handed me bottles through the crib bars. Because the
    sleeper I had on was the one I could not remove I was stuck. Just after
    noon they told me if I messed my diaper they would let me out.

    I have needed to poop for the last three hours so I tried to poop just
    enough that they would let me out. I tried to let just a small amount
    into my cloth diaper but lost control and messed big time, letting the
    full load out. My brothers removed my sleeper and told me to take a
    short nap and they would let me out before mom got home.

    I fell sound asleep with a wet messy diaper my brothers quietly let the
    side down while I was asleep. Mom was soon waking me up asking why I
    was wearing a messy diaper. I tried to tell her what my brothers did to
    me. Mom was mad she changed my diaper like she did when I was still
    wearing daytime diapers. She told me I will spend the weekend in
    diapers and my brothers will change me.

    I thought I could get even by messing and wetting more than I need to
    causing them to do the dirty work. After two days of wetting and
    messing 30 diapers my brothers were expert diaper changers and it did
    not bother them to change a wet and messy diaper. Mom told them until I
    could hold my pee for two hours without wetting my diaper they need to
    keep me diapered. I was again stuck in diapers wetting my diaper every
    one and a half hours. I was tall 4’ 1” and very thin and size 6 baby
    diapers fit me with no trouble. At night I wore cloth diapers and
    plastic pants. My brothers made sure the diaper were very thick so I
    would not leak. My brothers were 10 and 12 much bigger than me so I had
    to do as they told me. Billy is growing pubic hair unlike me not going
    through puberty yet.

    I can’t wait to be eighteen so I can move out on my own, but needing to
    wear diapers is going to make it hard to find a job or place to live.
    The more I try to be a big boy the more of a baby I turn into with help
    from my little brothers. I like my diapers and playing with toys not
    like a fourteen-year-old high school graduate. I liked to play with
    little kids only because they don’t tease me for wearing diaper. The
    little kids think I am just another diaper boy like them I can ride on
    the toddler ride on toys. It is so much fun to be a diaper boy. Fun is
    all in the way you play. I want to be all the baby I can be thanks to
    my mom and brother’s showing me the way.

whitedog@columbus.rr.com

## Rate This Story: ### 4 3 2 1 ##### Click "Submit" at bottom when finished. ###### "4" = highest rating (The following information requested is optional, though your participation is highly encouraged.)
Name: |
Age: | <8 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 >18
What diapers do you wear? | Cloth Disposable Multiple Underpants I do not wear diapers
Are your diapers plain white? | Always Usually Sometimes Rarely Never I do not wear diapers
Do you wear multiple diapers? | Always Usually Sometimes Rarely Never I do not wear diapers
Are you pantsless at home while in diapers? | Always Usually Sometimes Rarely Never I do not wear diapers
How do you use your diapers? | Pee Poop
Who else in your family has read this story? | Mother Father Older Brother Younger Brother Older Sister Younger Sister
Your comments: |
Parents' comments: |
Brothers' comments: |
Sisters' comments: |

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