HOW I MET CHIP "CHIPPER" (MY BEST FRIEND) INTRO By Cody Matthew James III The story you are about to read is based on a true story about myself. As I grew up I had a few accidents in the first few years of my life that changed my life forever. At 3 years old I split my scalp open while playing with my older brother. When I was five, I knocked out my upper and lower front teeth while playing on a jungle gym. At six I fell into my bedroom window while I was playing with our dog and nearly cut my arm off below the shoulder. That accident left me my right arm with very little feeling and limited movement of my lower arm and right hand, and I was born right-handed. The doctors had told my mom I would need extensive physical therapy and more surgery after I was older. My mom knew she could never afford the cost of the surgeries and physical therapy I would need for the next few years, so she relinquished me to the custody of the child welfare department. By this time my mom was divorced the second time and was supporting my brother, sister and me. My mom was looking for a job and a new husband after I turned seven. I remember the day I left home to go live in my first foster home after I had just turned seven, and how I was taken from my home screaming and fighting all the way. From age seven to fifteen years old, I spent those years of my life in three foster homes, one children's home, and a boy's home. The boy's home, and a friend I'll call Chip had the greatest influence on my life. Without the help and understanding from the counselors at the boys' home, and Chipper, I would not be writing this story today. I most likely would have ended up dead from a beating, or from a shoot out with the cops. I went from being one of the most despised boys in the boys home to being voted most improved and likable by all the boys and staff there towards the end of my stay. The last of my big accidents happened while I was living at the children's home. It was there I was run over by a flatbed truck, over my stomach and groin when I was ten years old. It was then that I lost control over my bladder and was temporally paralyzed from my waist down for a few weeks. The doctors said it was a kind of spinal cord shock and they hoped I would recover which I did… with one exception. I didn't know from which point I was going to start telling my story until I remembered the first time I saw Chip. It was the first day of class in the sixth grade for me, and I remember that day very well. In this story I will often reminisce about the previous years in my life, and how they influenced me. Growing up in foster homes, and other homes is hard on a kid, and being shipped around to new homes especially when you are going through puberty will mess up a kid quicker then anything else, I moved to the boys' home the day after I got out of the fifth grade, and it was the start of a long hot summer for me. I had one mean temper and thanks to Chip, the boys home, and a counselor I will name Tommy, I learned to control it, but it took time. (All the names of the people in this story have been changed to protect their identities. The dates and names of the places were also changed.) CMJ III P.S. I am A.D.H.D. and typed these stories with mainly my left hand. (Like Tommy told me, nothing is impossible.) (THANKS ALEX FOR EVERYTHING) HOW I MET CHIP "CHIPPER" Chapter 1 (MY BEST FRIEND) By Cody Matthew James III This would be the 7th school I attended since I started going to school in kindergarten. I was hoping I would be able to finish the 6th grade with no more interruptions. The bus came to a stop in front of a group of teachers in front of the office. As we got off the bus, a teacher was telling the students, "Those with last names starting with A thru N I want you over here, and those with last names starting with O thru Z I want those students over there." As the students started separating into two lines, I found myself nearly at the end of a very long line. First day of school I thought to myself. I wonder if I will get a female teacher or a male teacher this year. I liked the male teachers the best. They seemed to be less strict then the female teachers I have had in the past. I looked down the long row of students in front of me and counted about 70 students. It's going to be awhile before I get my room assignment I thought. The sun was now beating down hard on me on that hot September morning and I was starting to get thirsty. NOT NOW, I said to myself, you don't need any water yet. The school day has not even started I said to myself. I was trying to limit my water intake so I could make it at least until lunch before I needed to have my diaper changed. I looked at the mountains to my left and noticed how clear they seemed to be. I could even see the fire road I hiked up with some of the other boys from Mark Allen boy's home two weeks ago. The air was so clear I could see the area where we had eaten our lunch that day. How I wished I was still up there, smelling that beautiful pine scent. It was a good hike that day, and our counselor (Tommy) at Mark Allen boys home said he might start a hiking club this year if enough boys were interested. I told Tommy I would be the first to sign up if he had the paper to start a list. Hiking was one of the only things I could do really well. I played a little football at the boy's home, but being small and skinny, but fast, the only position I liked to play was receiver. I caught about half the throws to me, but when I caught them, it was only with my left hand. It had been almost seven years since I had my accident with my right arm. 'GOD' how I wished I hadn't fallen into that plate glass window I thought. I could be playing football with two good arms instead of one. Maybe I might have even liked playing baseball too, if I had two good hands. I looked at my right arm, it was there but it had very little function left in it. It just took up space between my shoulder and my fingers. I had very little movement and sensation left in my right arm and fingers now, and being born right-handed had made it that much harder for me to write left handed now. I had just turned six when I was playing with our one-year-old German Shepard puppy named Pepper, when I climbed onto his doghouse in the back yard of our house. I lost my balance and fell into the glass window of my bedroom and slid down the outside of the house while the razor sharp glass cut through my skin, muscles, nerves and tendons. I lost so much blood, that my heart had stopped beating in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Only the fast thinking by the paramedics kept me alive. So much damage was done to my right arm that it took two more surgeries to get my arm to the point where I can lift it almost above my head now, and the doctor said I would need physical therapy for a while and maybe more surgery. I looked toward the line and realized the line had moved about five feet since I had been daydreaming. I moved up quickly so I would not be embarrassed by holding up the line. As I strained to hear, I could hear the teachers at the table in the front of the line saying, "Last name first, First name last". There were about thirty students ahead of me now when I felt my pants getting warmer in the front and crotch. I was hoping I could make it at least until lunch before I totally soaked my diaper. I didn't have that much to drink at breakfast in the dining hall at the boy's home this morning, or so I thought. Well this means I will be seeing Miss Barns the school nurse earlier then I thought. The line was moving more quickly now, and as I grew closer to the table I was practicing to myself James......Cody....…….. James.....Cody When I got to the table, the teacher looked into my eyes and said, "Last name, and first name" I said in a whisper, "James Cody." "I WANT YOUR LAST NAME FIRST....FIRST NAME LAST" she seemed to be screaming at me, "James is my last name, and Cody is my first name" I told the teacher as she looked at me. "Oh then let's see........................... James , Cody …………….Room 12A" she said, then wrote the room number down on a card with my name JAMES - CODY RM. 12A TEACHER- MR. MARKSON. "When your class starts, you will need to give this card to your teacher," she said. As I looked at the card I thought to myself, good I got a male teacher this year. I followed some of the other students hoping they were going in the right direction, they looked like they were 6th graders like me, but they were much taller then me. Being 13 years old and only in the 6th grade was a little embarrassing for me, but being only four foot 1 inch tall, some of my former class mates had thought I had skipped a couple of grades, until they found out how old I really was. That was not going to happen this time at this school, as far as I was concerned, I was only eleven years old like every one else, and short for my age. If anyone asked me, I was going to tell them I was born in 1979 and totally forget about 1977. Right now as far as I was concern, I was a small 11-year-old 6th grader. As I turned the corner of the first set of rooms, I noticed the sign: "Main Office and Nurse's Office' As I looked at the sign, I felt my crotch getting warmer, and I figured I better make my way to the nurse's office now so I can change my diaper before it started leaking. As I walked down the hallway, I looked up at the numbers over the top of the doors and noticed they were getting smaller. Well I guess my room is in the other direction. As I got to the end of the hallway, I saw the door to the nurse's office. I reached down for the doorknob when all of a sudden the door opened and a female teacher started to come out. She stopped and stared at me and asked me were I thought I was going. I told her I needed to see the nurse. "Why do you need to see her now, do you have an upset stomach on the first day of school?" she asked me sarcastically. "I... I...I. just need to see the nurse" I told her. "Well I don't think you need to see her now, SO get to your class NOW" I turned and headed back the way I had just come from. I could feel my diaper sagging lower now and wondered if it would last at least until the first recess break. It seemed liked I had walked a mile before I saw a number 12 above any of the doors. Let's see ....12D........12C.......12B......12A, Good, I was finally here. I looked at the large note tacked on the door, "CHECK THE BOARD AT THE FRONT OF THE ROOM FOR YOUR DESK ASSIGNMENT! Signed Mr. Markson As I looked in, I could see all the desks were arranged into rows of about six, and there were five desks in each row. Let's see 6 times 5 equals 30. 30 students must be assigned to this classroom I thought to myself. As I peeked inside I looked toward the rear of the classroom, I notice about eight girls talking amongst themselves about something or another. I started to enter the classroom when a student flew by me and headed toward the seating chart posted on the board, I watched him skim over the seating arrangements from the bottom towards the top of the list, He stopped on the first row left and said under his breath. "Not the front row again" He turned and saw me still standing near the door, and without saying a word, rushed past me and out of the classroom. I looked around the room again, and feeling the coast was clear, I headed to the chart to see where I was going to sit. As I checked out the chart, I didn't have far to go. I was the first desk in the 2nd row. I was glad that I was assigned to a front desk like they promised, I felt more secure, and it was less likely any one was going to bother me or harass me in the front row like they did in the 5th grade when I was sitting near the back of the classroom. I made my way over to what I thought was my desk and sat down. I was ready for the start of 6th grade I hoped. I had my notebook, pens and pencils ready. Maybe this year would be a lot better then last year, The school bell rang and I looked up at the clock. It was only 10 minutes before eight. I was told that class started at eight sharp, so I guess I was a little early. Students were now coming into the classroom, and most were going straight for the seating chart on the board. I watched them as they checked the chart and went to their seats. It was almost two minutes of eight when the kid who rushed past me came in and took the seat to the left of me. I casually glanced in his direction to see what he looked like. As he sat there, he looked like he was over five feet tall. His hair was pure brown, straight, and cut across the front so he had bangs over his eyes. He had perfectly straight hair. How I wished my hair was straight like his and not curly. I always hated my hair. I took a second glance and noticed he was staring at me and checking me out from head to toe. I quickly pretended I was looking out the door so he would not think I was staring at him. My timing was right as our teacher Mr. Markson was entering the room. He looked like he was about fifty years old and he was kind of short at about five foot five inch tall. He walked to a large desk at the rear of the classroom carrying a brief case that was worn and well beaten up. By the clothes he was wearing you would think he could afford a better briefcase. He was wearing a button-down yellow short sleeve shirt, and brown slacks that looked like they have never been worn before. I got a kick when I saw the shoes he was wearing; they were white and blue tennis shoes with red shoelaces. I think I'm going to like my new teacher I thought to myself. "Okay new and returning students, I want you to pass the cards with your names on them to the front of each row, the cards the teacher gave you in front of the office building this morning. I will come by and pick them up in a minute, after you have done that, I want you to take out three pieces of paper for your first assignment of the new school year. When the students heard that all you could hear was Ahhh. Mr. Markson walked to the front of the class and started gathering the cards at the front of each row as he made his way from left to right. He put the cards in his shirt pocket and then picked up the board marker and wrote on the board: "SUMMER VACATION". "Students I want you to write three pages on one of the following subjects: #1 WHAT I DID ON MY SUMMER VACATION-------#2 WHAT I WANTED TO DO ON MY SUMMER VACATION---------#3 WHAT I THOUGHT I DID ON MY SUMMER VACATION or #4 WHAT I DID ON MY SUMMER VACATION AND GOT AWAY WITH!" Mr. Markson said as he finished writing on the board, and eyed most of the students. When I saw the topics, I knew I was going to like having Mr. Markson for a teacher. I choose the third one because I knew I could easily write a thousand pages on the subject. "You have about one hour forty five minutes to finish before your first break this morning. I will be calling each of you one at a time to my desk to talk to you. Now on the top of your papers, I want you to print your first name first and your last name last. Under that I want you to print your birthday, month, day, and year. Under that I want you to print your sex i.e. Male, Female, or Undetermined at this point of time, and I don't want to see any yes or no or I hope to some day answers," Mr., Markson said to us with a little smile on his face. "Now for the first student I want to talk to………" I noticed the kid on my right start to sink lower in his seat. "That's right, Chip Thompson, Come on downnnnn!!!" Well I now knew this kids name, and I guess Mr. Markson knew him pretty well too by the way he called his name out. As Chip got up, I felt my diaper start to warm up in the front again. I hope I can make it to recess before I need to have my Pamper changed. I started writing and when I got to the second line I wondered if Markson would be checking my birthday against any records he might have on me. I wrote 7-16-79 and continued with the rest of the assignment. I was temped to write, under sex, Not Now I have a headache, but I chickened out and just wrote male. I was about half way thru on my first page when Chip came back to his desk. I glanced at Chip and in a little whisper asked him what did Markson want to talk to us about? "Oh a bunch of nothing" Chip said then he started working on the assignment. When I was just about finished with the second page, I was getting nervous because I was the next one to be called according to the way Markson was calling names. When I saw the girl in the last desk in Chip's row return to her desk, I knew I was up next! "Cody James….or is it… James Cody, you're up! I got up and walked to the back of the room trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. I sat down in the chair next to his desk. "Let's see your name is Cody Matthew James, right?' Markson asked me "Yes" I said in a whisper. "You were born on 7-16-77" and…..and you don't like peas at dinner time, and I see you hate the color pink" Markson said to me. After Markson made these statements to me, I could not help but to look him in the eye bashfully and say "I hate peas anytime, and I don't mind pink as long as there are blue polka dots on it" Markson gave a little chuckle and continued "You've had quite a few accidents in your life I see. You lost your hearing for awhile when you were two, you knocked out some teeth when you were five….and you fell through a window about six……….crack on your head at eight……. Where did Markson get this information on me I thought to myself? ……. and you were run over by a truck when you were about ten……. That's why you need…….so you haven't been wearing them too long? Markson said very quietly. When Markson made that statement to me I bowed my head a little and could feel my face turning red "Yes" I said to him. "You are thirteen years old, and held back about two years because of surgeries and physical therapy? "Yes' I whispered, staring at the floor. "When the recess bell rings, would you please stay here in the classroom so we can talk?" Mr. Markson asked me quietly. "Well I need to…… well I….. I need to see the nurse first and then I can come back" I more or less asked Mr. Markson. "I see. Then I will see you after that. You can return to your desk now Cody" I got up and was walking back to my desk when I heard "Kenny Walters, you're the next student I would like to meet" As I sat down at my desk, Chip looked at me for a second and asked what Markson talked to me about. "Nothing much" I said When I said that to Chip, he looked me in the eye, and I guess that I knew at that point we were going to be best friends for the school year. As I sat there, I noticed Chip's nose was twitching every now and then. I was hoping it was not because of the smell of my wet diaper, but maybe because of the pollen in the air on this hot September morning. I had finished my paper and was going over it when the bell rang. The students were getting up and making for the door when I heard Mr. Markson say:" Hold on you animals, I want your papers on the top of your desk and put everything else under your seat……….then you made proceed outside and partake in some outdoor activities if you so wish." It seemed to me that Mr. Markson had so many faces, that you never could tell what he was going to say or do next. I finished putting my notebook, and backpack under my seat and grabbed the blue sweater off the back of my chair and wrapped it around my waist just in case. I hurried out the door on my way to the nurse's office. When I cleared the doorway; I looked over my left shoulder and could see Chip leaning against a metal support pole that was holding up the roof over the walkway. He was casually eating an apple and his eyes followed me as I quickly walked down the hallway. As I turned the corner, I did a quick glance at him again and his eyes seemed to be following me until the next row of classrooms blocked his view. It felt like forever before I got to the nurse's office. I opened the door and walked in and saw the long counter in front of me. As I approached the counter, I heard a voice call out "How may I help you?" I walked up to the counter and saw the nurse sitting behind her desk to the right of the examination table. When I saw her looking at me, the only thing I could think of saying: " My….My Name Is…. Cody James, and I need something" "And what do you need Cody James?" the nurse asked me. "I was told to come here when I….I.. need to be…..changed" "OH, you are Cody from Mark Allen boys home, aren't you?" she said as she got up from her desk and walked over to the counter. "Yessss" I said " Why don't you walk around the counter over there and I can help you get changed Cody." Miss Barns said with a large smile on her face. I turned and started walking along the counter while I took my sweater off from around my waist, and sat it on the counter. When I rounded the counter Miss Barns took my hand and led me over to the exanimation table. She turned me so my back was towards the examination table and reached under my armpits and lifted me up onto the table like I was a three year old. I was so embarrassed; I could feel my face was turning red. She reached up and ran her fingers through my hair. I felt a chill run down my back then she said: "I wish I had beautiful curly blond hair like yours, Cody." My eyes slowly wondered up to see what she looked liked up close as I really didn't pay that much attention to her appearance until now. Her soft auburn shoulder length hair and hazel eyes reminded me so much of Sandy, the girl I fell madly in love with last year at Emerson elementary school. I guess it was a little too late for Sandy and me to get to know each other really good. Sandy and I started talking to each other about mid May and by the time school was out for the summer, we were kissing and holding hands. When the teachers saw us holding hands in the schoolyard, they would make us go to separate areas of the playground and try to keep us apart. She was the first girl that I thought wasn't yucky, and now it looked like Miss. Barns could have been Sandy's mother. Since I was taken out of the third foster home, I really missed Sandy. Now I was over thirty miles away from her now, and I missed her. Some people say you never forget your first true love and I will never forget Sandy. "You stay right here Cody, and I'll be right back." I followed her every step as she walked around the table and headed to the walk-in closet at the rear of the room. When she got there, she turned on the light, lighting up the large closet. I watched as she disappeared for a moment and then appeared holding a white Pampers diaper and cloth canvas bag in her hand. I was hoping that when I was moved to the boys' home, I could at least wear a plain disposable diaper and not the Pampers diapers with the babyish prints on the front. Tommy, my cottage counselor told me, before school started this year, that if I wanted to wear disposable diapers at school, that I would have to wear Pampers because they still fit me and were about half the price of the other plain disposable diapers and the boys home could afford that. Otherwise I would have to wear a cloth diaper instead. I didn't want to wear a cloth diaper to school because I would have to take it back to the boy's home with me in a plastic bag on the school bus. That was the last thing I wanted to take home with me on a school bus was a, wet, smelly cloth diaper, so I opted for the Pampers diapers instead. "Here you go Cody, now you can change yourself." Miss. Barns said as she handed me the diaper and my accessories bag. I took the diaper from her and set it down, and as I was about to take the bag, I looked up and said; I….I. can't ..do it all...by. . myself because of my…my arm. "Oh, I totally forgot about your right arm Cody, I'm sorry. Here let me give you a hand" Miss Barns walked around to the right side of the table I was sitting on and placed the canvas bag down beside me on the table. She took my feet and lifted them over and placed them on the table. "You'll will have to forgive me Cody, but this is the first time I have changed a boy your age, I mean, I changed my nephews' diapers over this past summer while I babysat him but he was only eighteen months old. I unbuckled my belt and unsnapped my pants, and then nervously lay down on my back and with my left hand, pushed my pants down as far as I could reach. Miss. Barns stood there while I struggled and then she reached over and took hold of my pants and slowly pulled them down to my ankles. "I see you're wearing a bodysuit Cody, were you cold this morning?" she asked me as she unsnapped my shirt between my legs. "No" I answered sheepishly "I just wanted to make sure none of the other students found out what I was wearing at school" As she finished with the last snap, she pulled my body shirt up over onto my stomach and then pulled my blue plastic pants down my legs to my ankles. She unfastened the tapes holding my diaper on. I lifted my legs and rear up so she could take the diaper out from under me. As I held my rear up, Miss. Barns opened the canvas bag and took out one of my disposable changing pads and placed it under my rear. As I let my rear down on the pad Miss. Barns took out the tub of Pampers baby wipes and peeled of the protective plastic wrap covering the tub. "These were the same type I used to clean my nephew with when I changed his diapers over the summer." Miss. Barns told me. I felt my face getting redder now as I imagined myself being eighteen months old again and laying on a dressing table with a baby bottle in my mouth and having my diaper changed. "I read your medical report in your personal file a few days ago Cody and understand you were actually run over by the rear wheels of a truck? I'm surprised you weren't killed" My attention snapped back to where I was as I felt her lift my legs and rear up into the air and start cleaning my rear with the baby wipes. "Well I kind of jumped off the back bed of the truck as it was going forward slowly and another bigger boy jumped off about a second earlier then me and I bounced off of him and landed on my back under the truck. Before I could get out of the way, the truck ran over my stomach and my hips. The doctor said I was really lucky that it was a stake bed truck with two tires on each side of the rear. He also said it was a good thing I was as skinny as I was or I might have been killed. The doctor said my liver, spinal cord and bladder were damaged and he didn't know if I would be able to walk normally again. I was in bed for over two weeks before I could barely stand on my feet. I had over three months of physical therapy before I could walk well again. I had to repeat 4th grade again and that's one of the reasons why I'm thirteen years old now. "You're done Cody" I looked down and saw my body shirt was snapped closed now. I was talking so much that I did not realize Miss Barns had cleaned me up, put a new diaper on me, and pulled my plastic pants back up over my diaper. I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the table and hopped down to the floor with Miss. Barns help. I quickly pulled my pants up then Miss barns pulled my zipper up and fastened my pants. She buckled my belt and then pulled my shirt out of my pants so it would just hang out. I liked to let my shirt just hang there, looking unkempt; it made me feel better. As I walked around the counter to the door, I grabbed my sweater as I said, "Thank you Miss Barns" I saw a glint in her eyes before the door closed behind me. I looked at my watch on my left arm and then started walking faster back to my classroom. There were only six minutes left in recess and I knew Mr. Markson still wanted to talk to me. As I turned the corner, I looked up and Chip was still leaning against the same steel pole. As I walked down the hallway, Chip caught sight of me and watched me as I walked by him and into the classroom. I saw Mr. Markson reading, I guess, the papers we had done before recess. He was at his desk, leaning back in his chair with his feet on top of the desk. I saw the smile on his face as he placed one paper down and started reading the next one. "Mr. Markson," I said in a quiet voice as I approached him. "I'm here" "Oh, Cody, come on over here and have a seat. I need to talk to you for a few minutes. ……I saw in your file your living at Mark Allen boy's home?" "Yes" I said. "What cottage are you in?" Mr. Markson asked me as he looked me in the eye. I looked down towards the floor and nervously pushed my feet back and forth as I answered him, "Cottage A" "I worked at Mark Allen as a boy's counselor a few years back. Isn't cottage A for the youngest boys there?" Mr. Markson asked me inquisitively. "Yes" I mumbled. "Why are you in cottage A, and not B or C like other boys your age?" he asked. "I was put in cottage A because I was small and also because some of the boys in cottage A still wet their beds at night and they felt it would be easier on me." I said as I tried not to look Markson in the eye. "What are the other boys ages in your cottage now Cody?" Markson asked me as he took his feet off his desk and sat up in his chair. "Five, six, and seven years old I guess." "How do you feel about it?" "My mom said she thought it would be better for me not to be in a cottage where the other boys would tease me about having to wear diapers all the time, and since I was small it would be easier for me to defend myself in cottage A since the boys were about the same size as me." "You do seem a little bit small for your age, Cody, have you seen a doctor about it?" "The doctor said my growing slowed down a lot right after my arm accident, but after my arm heals up more I should start growing again." "How tall are you now, Cody?" "About four foot, one inch I guess" I said as I was getting nervous again. The recess bell rang and Mr. Markson said I could go to my desk. I got up from the chair and turned to go to my seat and I stopped right there when I saw Chip standing at the opened door leaning against the door frame with his arms folded across his chest. I hoped he didn't hear the discussion I had with Mr. Markson I said silently to myself, He had that same smile on his face. I walked over and then up the isle to my desk while I watched Chip take his seat about the same time as me. I heard my diaper rustle a little as I sat down. I quickly looked at Chip to see if he heard anything. Chip was writing something down on a piece of paper when he looked at me, and then started writing again. Mr. Markson got up off his chair and headed out the door to get the other students that were lined up out on the playground. "Cody, I noticed your right arm is smaller then your left arm. What happened to it?" Chip asked. "It's a long story…I fell into a window when I was six years old and almost cut my arm off" The students were coming back into the classroom now followed by Mr. Markson. He walked to the board at the front of the room and picked up the marker. "Students, every morning I want you to bring the following items to class with you: Two number two pencils, sharpened, two pens, blue ink only, medium and or fine point. One ruler with inch and millimeter markings on it. Note book with plenty of paper. Eraser, and the following books I am going to hand out shortly. Also it would be a good idea if you brought a softbound dictionary from home too, for those of you who are not so adequate in their spelling of words. Yes Chip Thompson, I'm talking about someone else, not you." I looked over at Chip to see his reaction to Mr. Markson's remark and caught Chip mouthing the same statement Mr. Markson had just made. I was starting to wonder if Markson had something against Chip. Mr. Markson continued on telling us all the new things we were going to be doing and learning that year, and as he continued I sat back in my chair and thought; My last year in elementary school has officially started. END OF CHAPTER ONE Chapter Two As the morning went by slowly